Planning and doing, and everything in between

Funny story: This is an impulse write. See, I was listening to this cover of Plans by Oh Wonder (which is really special in my heart, but that’s another story for another day) on loop, and had an urge to write despite the undone math homework sitting on my desk (it’s starting to become a constant. haha.).

So, plans, oh plans. I need to plan. Though I have what I like to think is a rational mind, my thoughts often clutter that space, too many to tidy up. There’s always a string of events, a train of to-dos or rivers of reminders in there, to the point I will have to sit myself down and go, “you have to plan.” Whether it be lists or pen scribblings of checkboxes on my arm, it’s my way of decluttering for me. Maybe it’s my overthinker self and how I often tend to spiral down a hole of “what ifs”, but planning helps to put myself at ease, because it lets me prepare for everything, really. I bring umbrellas out when the sun is high up in the sky, a flannel in 35ºC weather, a book out in case I get bored . “Just in case.” I like to be prepared, set my mind on things I have to do, places to go, people to meet.

And then comes the doing, where things get debatable.

I am absolutely terrible at doing things. Say, my math homework, for example. Earlier today, I told myself that I would get this piece of work done before I went out for my dentist appointment, but that didn’t happen, so I told myself to get it done before going to sleep. It is currently almost midnight, and guess what? I’ve done nothing. Not even a pencil marking on my worksheet. So if that’s not enough evidence, I don’t know what else is. There’s always an unchecked box in my to-do lists.

But wait a second, did you remember that this is an impulse write? This is where the in between starts. Presenting, the alignment chart.

This post is a perfect example of “not planning, doing”, to which I also call “impulsive decisions”. I don’t make many impulsive decisions, but when I do, they’re often BAD. Give me an opportunity, and if I’m feeling up for it, I’ll do it. I literally just made one yesterday, which was signing up for a programme after receiving an email for it in the middle of English class. I kid you not, that programme requires commitment and the ability to socialise, two things I do not have a lot of, but it had been done. Such things are done without putting in much thought, which sometimes end up in stupid decisions, because I don’t use my brain, but there’s almost a certain adrenaline I experience when making these decisions. It’s a boost of confidence, a daring power move. “Damn the consequences, you can do whatever you want.”

And then comes the “not planning, not doing”, which I call “I feel like shit”. We can all agree that we’ve had our fair share of days like these, where you don’t feel like doing anything at all, where you just want to be in bed for the whole day and sleep everything off. As I like to say, we live in a society, and a lack of efficiency can often make us feel terrible. A scroll on Instagram is literally equivalent to a punch in your face, saying “LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE DOING STUFF AND BEING PRODUCTIVE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!” when such days roll about. But these days are valid, they happen. Feeling like shit, and then shittier because you haven’t done things is something that I’m still trying to improve on for myself; it’s a huge work in progress but taking breaks are alright sometimes.

However, there are cons to these too. Not planning and doing might lead to oversight on one’s part, where the result ends up terrible, or you might find yourself in a sticky situation akin to a bug being in a spider’s web — you have to get out of it, but you’re trapped and it’s hard (analogy is out of nowhere but I’m tired and it’s almost 1 am I NEED TO SLEEP). It’s often terrible when things to not go smoothly, and I think “oh this isn’t going as planned”, but then remember “I DIDN’T PLAN” and then the regret starts flooding in, which is the main reason as to why I like to plan, to prepare myself. Impulsive decisions might be fun to make, but they can go wrong easily too, and sometimes my brain does not need the unnecessary stress it brings my overthinker self. No snowballs today.

“Planning, doing” is mostly good, but it’s also not the best. Living calculated lives, everything planned and done, lacks flavour. To be honest, you can try, but you can’t have everything be of a certain precision most of the time. The cardboard you measured 20 cm for might end up being 19 cm after a pair of scissors have torn through it; you’ll never know. A little surprise here and there might hurt, but once again, they happen. Maybe they’ll let you learn some things too. (cough OM cough another story for another day cough cough)

(I think the primary con of “planning, not doing” and “not planning, not doing” is just feeling like shit. Nothing is done, deadlines are nearing, you’re stressed but also tired. I guess it’s pretty self-explanatory?)

At this point I’m running out of water in my cup, it’s 1 am, and I’ve also oh so conveniently lost my train of thought, so I’ll end this here. TL;DR, here’s my experience with planning and doing, but I guess a little of everything is the best. There’s a suitable approach to everything, it’s ok to do some things some times. At this time, prioritising a whole blog post before my math homework definitely isn’t one of them.